Threesomes. The new normal? – Remember July
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Threesomes. The new normal?

Posted by Katie Montgomery on
Threesomes. The New Normal? - Remember July

Threesomes. The New Normal?

Emma describes her first threesome experience with obvious delight. Since then, the 32-year-old lawyer has had two more threesomes - with another girl and guy (known as FFM), and one with two guys (FMM).

“It’s hard to say whether I prefer doing it with two girls or two guys. Each experience is so unique, in the same way that having sex with different partners varies. If you are all having a good time and attracted to each other, for me it doesn’t matter if it is two women or two men,” she says.

What Emma did want though, was that her boyfriend was in the picture all the time.

“Seeing my boyfriend’s cock harden as he stared at another girl’s ass and watching his eyes fill with lust as she bent over in her tiny G-string did not make me jealous. It drove me wild. Mind you, she was going down on me at the time, licking and sucking my clit while rubbing my breasts with her hands. Watching my boyfriend get excited turned me on even more.”

“When he pulled down his shorts and leaned over her, grabbing her breasts and pushing his cock towards her, the three of us just went at it until we were pumping and pulsating in one hot juicy triangle. It was the sexiest thing I have ever done.”

“I know people who have done it with two complete strangers, for example a married couple they didn’t know or with two guys they met in a bar. If that’s your jam, no judgement. But for me, part of the turn on was seeing my man enjoying it with someone else. It always made for hotter sex between us afterwards as we fantasised and relived the experience and how we felt.” 

Emma is one of a growing number of people who view a threesome as a normal way of seeking sexual pleasure rather than something that’s taboo.

While once the idea of having sex with more than one person might have seemed like a distant fantasy or a porn plot – it is one of the most popular searches on Pornhub - more people than you might think are making good things come in threes. Just look at the popularity of RedHotPie in Australia.

Recent research by Forbes showed that millennials (24 to 39-year olds) in particular are not just open to polyanormous sex or relationships, but that 30 percent of millennials engage in threesomes. The research also found 42 percent of Generation Z (up to 23-year olds) are active in it. 

You Me and Her, a recent Netfilx drama about a married couple in their 30s who engage a college girl to spice up their sex life, touted as television’s first of its kind, brought threesomes more into the mainstream.

In the series, the three characters ended up as a throuple -  a three way romantic relationship. However, people more commonly engage in threesomes for play and experimentation - whether as a single person or as part of a couple like Emma does.

“It is not like we have threesomes all the time. I would say more they are part of our repertoire, among other things we do, like using toys or dress ups, to enrich our sex life and keep it exciting.”

For those curious about trying a threesome, Emma warns there can be some awkwardness at first. 

“I guess it is like two people having sex for the first time. When it is three of you, despite you all being really horny, there can be awkward moments when you are wondering where to put yourself or what to do with your hands! I would say just go with the flow and be spontaneous.”

In her first threesome experience the bikini-clad blonde was a complete stranger that the couple had met on holiday. When her boyfriend was in the pool, Emma had asked the girl on a nearby sun lounger to reapply her sun cream.

“I was laying on my front and she started to rub it down my back in long strokes. I immediately felt aroused even though I wouldn’t have said I was attracted to women before. I couldn’t wait till she went near my ass. Her hands started to slow down there and go gradually deeper between my cheeks. By the time my boyfriend got out of the pool, I didn’t want to stop, and he knew I wanted him to join in.”

The couple’s next two threesome experiences were with people they knew. 

For people interested in a threesome, this is often the first question - where do you find other keen people? If you don’t want to rely on chance meets, there are online apps like 3Somer.

Other people prefer to try their first threesome with friends. Some men in an FMM combination might feel more comfortable with a mate than a stranger.

That was the finding of British sociologist Dr Ryan Scoats, who has a phd in threesomes! After in-depth interviews with people who had experienced threesomes, Scoats found that women were less intimidated in a FMM combination if the two men were friends. Men also found it easier to interact, as they already had a bond.

This was the case in Emma’s most recent experience with two men.

“At first, I thought it a bit weird that my boyfriend was getting down and dirty with a mate he plays squash with, but he said they’d seen each other naked before. The only thing I found is that the two guys didn’t interact much - that is part of the eroticism of the threesome for me, that you get to be a bit of a voyeur.”

Emma says it is important everyone gets a bit of the action.

“The way it is stereotyped, particularly a man with two women, is that the man lies in the middle with hot naked women pleasuring him either side. That can totally be an enjoyable part of it, but he shouldn’t be surprised when the women get off on each other too.” 

Shower sex

For her second experience where they invited a girlfriend of Emma from work to their apartment for dinner. It led to hot sex in the shower.

“My boyfriend said afterwards he felt a bit left out, as her and I were having so much fun. So if you’re a couple going into it, you have to talk about these things. Of course, be considerate of the other person.”

Whether you go for steamy sessions with strangers, or rope in your bff’s, there’s no doubt that threesomes can enhance sexual pleasure for those in a sexual relationship as well as empowering singles.

Threesome tips

  1. If you are a couple adding a third person, discuss rules to avoid jealousy or disappointments afterwards. Eg if you’re going for MFF, is the man going to penetrate both women?
  2. At the same time, to maximise pleasure, keep an open mind to allow for spontaneity.
  3. Don’t be greedy. Be respectful and focus on giving rather than receiving. No one wants to be the third wheel. The idea is that every participant receives equal amounts of pleasure.
  4. Positioning yourselves can sometimes be awkward - some people find sex toys can help.
  5. Men, always ensure your partner is receiving just a bit more attention than the guest.  
  6. It goes without saying to stay safe, and most of all have fun! And get photos...

You may want to view the Couples Collection and if you are interested in swinging information, check out RedHotPie in Australia.

K.M.

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